The Problem with Parenting

It seems that wherever a mother turns, there is something that tells her she is not parenting right.  Lately, it seems that you can only be French to do it properly! That is all we need... Is the guilt injection we get with conception not enough? Or the pressure to work or stay at home not enough to for us to feel inadequate with whatever choice we make? And don't get me started on the pressure surrounding breastfeeding and toilet-training...

As far as I can see it, as a parent and most specifically as a mother, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.  If you really are a sucker for punishment, you can read about how being French makes all the difference.

Like me, if you wish to salvage some feelings of competence, take the points which make sense to you and work for you and ignore the rest! Take it all on board and you could run the risk of 'guilt/incompetence' overload, again...

With every decision we make regarding our parenting choices, there are studies and research to claim for and against.

A stay at home mother? You're either creating the best start for your child OR stifling your child's social development.

A working mother? You're either giving your child the opportunity to develop bonds outside of the home OR leaving your child to grow up with attachment issues.

The debate could go on but here is a particular article I have come across which puts this point over so well- and made me laugh out loud!

Guilt appears to be an issue that deserves its own mention.  Regardless of who came out with the thoughtless comment that renders us blubbing in the corner, consumed by self-doubt, our feelings of guilt are entirely self-created.

Despite desperately wanting to blame our mother-in-law, mother, neighbour, postman, husband, random stranger in the street who 'tsk-ed' when your toddler's mitten fell off in the -10 snow which you couldn't pick up immediately as you were trying to keep them from running into the street to gather more snow for the snowman you were building and which you thought you were going to receive 'mummy of the week' award for, for engaging, learning and interactive play... Guilt is yours to create and yours to eliminate.

I have written a little about GUILT here but take a read of this lovely blog post for another perspective on guilt and being a mother.

Parenting and being a mother is something we must remember is PERSONAL and try to put that into perspective at almost every street corner and shop counter. EVERYONE has an opinion but it is only their opinion for you to acknowledge or leave, not to take on board.

Deep breath . Shoulders back.  You are doing the best you can. That is all.

And if anyone has an opinion that goes further than that, they are most welcome to come and live our lives for a day while we go off and have a coffee and read a magazine in a quiet corner of the world. Thank you.